92 Comments
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Jeff Tozzer's avatar

Didn't I tell you? My hair grew back!

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Eric Fehrmann's avatar

TRIBE USA ONE NATION INDIVISIBLE

Wow! Thank you.

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Chris Clark's avatar

This was the perfect article after hearing about what’s coming down the pike from Olympia this morning.

How very funny, thanks Jeff for the April fools laugh

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Jeff Tozzer's avatar

Anytime!

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John Worthington's avatar

Good job Jeff,

Man I want to go ooooh louder than Merv Griffin ever went ooooh. We got it all on CCW. We could hold a telethon for Tribe U.S.A. and then pay whistleblowers just like Veritas.

This shits better than professional wrestling and daytime soaps combined

An unfiltered blow by blow of a community viewpoint and social push back that would have been flagged and removed on any other social media.

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Jeff Tozzer's avatar

Yee haw! Happy April 1st.

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Jennifer's avatar

You April fooled me! I kept reading thinking this is going to be the end of Jeff. I didn't catch on until midway through. Thanks for the humor.

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John Worthington's avatar

Your pelt was already worth a fortune on the open market. What have you done.

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Robert's avatar

Oh, you vicious slaveholder, keeping all those bees working for you against their will, with no overtime, sick leave, or even a safe space to hide in when the going gets a little uncomfortably difficult ... How do you look at yourself in the mirror every morning?

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Jeff Tozzer's avatar

How do I look at myself? Did you see that picture of me in the beekeeper outfit? Sometimes I can't quit looking at myself.

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John Worthington's avatar

He was just asking for it..

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Susan C Bonallo's avatar

It gives him a buzz!

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Jeff Tozzer's avatar

Nice one!

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paula graham's avatar

This is so the way to eliminate the anxiety of frustration…. And hubba hubba on the bee keeper🫶

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ken wahl's avatar

Show up at “the protest” this Saturday, April 5th, in the beekeeper outfit. The marchers will go beserk. April Fools.

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Jeff Tozzer's avatar

Not a bad idea.

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Denise Lapio's avatar

Your timing is perfect, Jeff! This was satire at its best. Of course, there will be some people who'll take this seriously, but for those of us in the know, classic journalism. I couldn't stop laughing throughout the entire piece. Bravo! And I especially like what you've done with your hair.

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Jeff Tozzer's avatar

It was fun to write. Look forward to seeing you at today's meeting, I might need to borrow a brush.

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Garry Blankenship's avatar

You are a pleasantly sarcastic soul Jeff. It helps us all actually look some at the norms in our society and lives rather than to mindlessly repeat them. My passion for rivers and the amazing fish that reside in them brought me closer than most to area tribes. I have lived a roller coaster life of defending tribes and disliking them. The complex web of treaty tribal existence cannot be unwoven. At my ripe age I see "your uncle punched my nephew in the face generations ago and further took the land that he never owned. Therefore, your family owes my family - - - forever". I would hope for the Tribes to voluntarily surrender sovereignty in favor of USA citizenship / a different tribe. Unfortunately, they too are now capitalist, preferring both and to equality. Friends and neighbors, but having both full USA tribal rights and/or sovereignty rights; whichever best serves on any given day. It is ironic that ownership of land was an incomprehensible concept for aboriginal USA peoples; so our Government gives them land ownership as payment for a guilty conscience. Ancestry is where it's at; or is it ?

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Robert's avatar

Read Lewis and Clark's acct. (in the upper Missouri I think) where the native guides briefly broke off the journey to go down into the river to massacre some members of some other tribe fishing in 'their' river.

They may not have 'owned' the land but they sure as hell 'defended' 'their' territory.

There was NO 'noble savage' culture. Noble individuals in their society? Maybe?

I appreciate your being 'in love' with the IDEA of the ideal relationship with nature but in fact, it never existed! 😃

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Garry Blankenship's avatar

Indeed. I had a similar book; lost in the loaning process. I believe the ideal relationship with nature consisted of no more than waring enough to keep human populations under control. British Columbia tribes used to visit murder and rape on local tribes here. Surely there must be some reparations agreement for that.

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Susan C Bonallo's avatar

Yes, I believe the reparations agreement is to not do that anymore! Legal language may be in actual contract but I dumbed it down for folks that once read next door!

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Kathleen Smith's avatar

Hayfields and the McCoys

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Garry Blankenship's avatar

Yep

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Robert's avatar

My Mom's second husband was a Samoan...I asked him how the Samoan culture maintained their balance with nature...he said wars and cannibilism!

The human story...now we prey on each other differently but no less destructively.

Thanks for your response.😊

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Diana Henderson's avatar

What a fun read, thank you!!

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Jeff Tozzer's avatar

You're welcome. Doug put me up to it, with Miguel's permission.

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Kevin's avatar

I told myself I couldn't come back for a month, but I just had to.

Tell me if I am doing this right. Like this is the koolaid y'all want right?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Shadow of Corruption Looms Over Our County

By: Kevin

In the murky depths of our local politics, a game is being played—one that threatens to rewrite the very fabric of our county's future. Behind closed doors, where the public eye is so often blind, a disturbing pattern is emerging. County officials and tribal leaders, once separate entities in the eyes of the law and the public, now seem to be tangled in a web of political deals that could reshape everything we stand for.

These backroom dealings aren’t just about politics—they’re about power. About control. About erasing the boundaries between government and our own community's interests, all under the veil of “partnership” and “progress.” And yet, the public remains silent, lulled into apathy by flashy diversity initiatives and misleading terms like “inclusion” that only serve to mask the true stakes of this corruption.

For far too long, we’ve been sold a narrative that seeks to rewrite history—to ignore the very fabric of systemic inequality that has been woven into the law of this land for centuries. We’ve been told to look away as county leaders make concessions in the name of “shared resources” while tribal leaders, supposedly our community’s champions, may be complicit in the very system that has oppressed us all. We need to ask the hard questions: Is this truly progress? Or are we simply trading one form of inequality for another?

As a journalist—one committed to exposing the truth—I refuse to let these machinations continue unchallenged. This isn’t about “unity” or “equity”—it’s about protecting a system that benefits the few while exploiting the many. And I, for one, won’t sit quietly while the powerful continue to spin their narratives and manipulate the truth to suit their needs.

We can’t afford to let history be rewritten. The truth matters—now more than ever.

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Jennifer's avatar

Kevin, I just love everything you write. I hang onto your every word! Please don't let school get in your way, you'll have a much better career as a budding journalist ; )

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Robert's avatar

Yeah, Kevin, keep writing koolaid stories... they're fun.🤩

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Pepai Whipple's avatar

You threw me for a loop on this one Jeff, not much different than BOCC meetings…..except they aren’t April fooling….🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

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Kate Jacobs's avatar

Careful, Jeff, with that kind of humor and panache for writing....you might just get syndication! Especially fantastic this morning.

#GoTribeUSA

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paula graham's avatar

Bwaaa hahahahaha

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CWeber's avatar

That was funny and entertaining. There were some deep truths buried in there! Sorry you lost the 8th grade ASB treasurer. Nowadays you can still be a member without winning the vote. You become ambasador, which is what happened to my daughter back when she ran.

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Jeff Tozzer's avatar

Someone who can relate. The struggle is real.

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Renae G's avatar

Looking good there, Jeff!

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